Search within me.
It must be 10:30 pm when I was on terrace; I looked around and … after every 10 minutes lights of houses in locality goes off. Yes it was bed time for them and for me..
It is going to be another long night … sleepless. I looked up …closed my eyes and I felt silence in air
“Yeh raat hai, yeh tumhaari zulfein khuli hui hai,
Hai chaandni ya tumhaari nazrein se meri raatein dhuli hui hai,
Yeh chaand hai ya tumhaara kangan,
Sitaarein hai ya tumhaara aanchal”
Mansi called and said she is going to Vaisno Devi, she said “I will pray for you” and in silence of sec I said to myself “ but why, I don’t need anything, I am happy with what i have, and when time comes i will get my share of smiles also, so no issues”. She fell silent for a sec and then said “You will never change” do I need to???
I already changed a lot. Yes, I did, there were times when I used to tell myself that age should never affect my nature. My attitude towards life, that excitement and kiddies behavior, laughing loud at small issues, and having fun in simple pleasures, that zest for life ,but today I see lots of changes in me. Its like finding answers which I posed to myself. I was searching for myself in others, and then I realised I forgot to search with in me ,i found myself and my smile.
Matured! ! ! Maybe my outlook towards everything and everyone changed, friends, family, work, and the world. I stopped asking this question “how can people do like this ” and I am feeling better without the question to haunt me. Why expect? Let people do what they feel is right. And I am going to do what is right for me. I have become more silent with everyone; instead of words I use a smile now. I just shrug of any thing, which doesn’t need my attention and energy. I am more calm and composed.
“kabhee kisee ko mukammal jahaan naheen milataa,
kahee jameen to kahee aasamaan naheen milataa,
jise bhee dekhiye wo apane aapamei gum hai,
jubaan milee hain magar humajubaan naheen milataa”
Personally its time to move on, no one knows you better than others, its ultimately what you feel or do is important. Every time I lost I thought this is the end but then fought back to life. This time another chance for myself lets see what’s in store for future. For now I am content with myself.
“Kuch Pal Palkhon Mein Palte Hain ,
Kuch Pal Aankhon Mein Jalte Hain ,
Yeh Pal To Hain Musafir, Chalte Jaayenge..
Dheere Dheere Lamha Lamha Bhool Jayenge..
Apni Dhun Mein Tehelte Hain.”
Me thinking: “Anuj Jain quits after 12 year with Indian Women Cricket Team, all these years not a single award. Why people are crazy after Sehwag and Ganguly only? India have to fight for single medal in Olympic. Its shame for all you people who think of CRICKET ICC team when we talk about real game :hockey, socker, tennis, golf…. Shame! .”
Me feeling:“Koi farayad tere dil me dabi ho jaise, tune aankhon se koi baat kahi ho jaise, jagte jagte ek umar kati ho jaise, jaan baki hai magar saas ruki ho jaise.. janta hu apko sahare ki zaroorat nahi hai mai to bas saath dene aya hu..“.
Me listening to: Main aur meri tanhaai aksar yeh baatein karte hain,Tum hoti to kaisa hota, tum yeh kehti, tum voh kehti,Tum is baat pe hairaan hoti, tum us baat pe kitni hansti”
